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Sunday, December 7, 2014

There and Gone



Before I get into what this post is really about, I need to delve into my past a bit. I haven't had many lady-lovers or girlfriends in my life. I can count the amount of people I've slept with with my hands, but this isn't all about sex. It's about how a few women made me feel.

My first girlfriend was back in the 90's. I was 17 if I remember correctly. I tried to date her a year or two prior. One of those stupid mistakes we all make when we're young n' dumb, n' full of... When I was 15 I gave her a note in class that pretty much said let's fuck. I sort of got in trouble for that and her family hated me since after that. Odd how I was to date her for a year. It was a fun ride and I made my fair share of mistakes.

Within a few years after breaking up with my first I found what would be the best lover-lady I had. Jeni Porter, as she calls herself now-in-days, I knew her as Jenny with a Y but that was too lesbian or something. Jeni and I dated for a year and a half and saw one another for a while after the break up. This was in 2000-2001. With Jeni, I would of taken the only vacation that didn't suck. Tennessee was very fun indeed. I can go into more detail, but she was nice to me back then and I was nice to her. I did end up screwing it up and I broke up with her. I mainly wanted to fuck other people, and later learned I'm a poly, but at the time I was too much of a pussy to talk to her about it. At least I broke up with her to try to fuck other ladies... but if I had stayed with her things might of turned out better, odd as reality is.

After we parted ways I would go through a decade of being alone. Fake-ass people from one group of assholes to another. Although I was going through a sort of hell for more than a decade after we broke up, I did do some creative shit. I won't mention it all but I did get into dancing. It was really fun but also helped with my depression and constant solitude I would find myself in for hundreds of days at times. It's not like I didn't try to meet people, but us nice poor boys tend to finish last.

It wasn't until 2011-12 that I met this awesome chick. She was the woman of my dreams. All I wanted to do was be nice to her, help her out with whatever she needed, and have a fucking good time with multiple times. We couldn't keep our eyes off one another. Although she did have mental issues, I didn't hold that against her. She was a paranoid schizo, which later when I told my family about her they acted as if I was just making a mistake. Her issues didn't help though. She thought I was fucked up for wanting to be President of the US one day.

As usual, I screwed shit up and got into a stupid ass fight partly or mostly over sex toys. I might of called out a name like bitch or asshole. I know, never talk with me again over that horrid shit while all sorts of worse people get so much forgiveness. “Hey, the pig had to shoot the 12-year-old... Well, it was just rape... let's forgive those people!” So yeah, we got into a small fight and then BOOM!... I had my life destroyed by my family.

Sent to jail for shit I never did, and thrown into homelessness by a family that was trying to “help” me when I was making improvements in my life. Aside from this perfect creature that I miss so much Andrea, I did much to help my life get better. I had quit smoking in 2011, but I didn't hate other smokers. In fact I enjoy the smell of smoke and Andrea was a smoker. I had gotten on much needed anti-depressants. I've tried for years to do it myself. No more and I started taking meds I needed.

However, when one goes to jail for shit they never did and punished up the ass for the hear-say crime of me shaking my fist at someone. I was jabbing my shoulder looking for $10-$20 in gas to go to the ER. My overly-dramatic grandma threw $140 at my poor ass so I took it. They threw that in with the charge.

Anywho, I was going through hell before all that. I felt good for a few months to make major changes in my life and shit seemed to be coming together. Then it was all gone. I was even forced to take mental health treatments by the courts, but not for shit I have... for shit I didn't have. Which of course caused issues. Made me want to kill myself everyday for that year I was on those shitty ass meds I don't fucking need. I couldn't of course say that at the time, and I really didn't want to kill myself it just made me feel that way. And everyone was like, problem solved. For reals.

I tend to repeat the story of my horror. How my family sent me to jail for shit I never did and how I lost a bunch of shit. Well, I lost the chance to peruse Andrea a bit further. If I had not gone to jail and made homeless for months afterwords, could I of repaired it? I like to think so.

I swear I saw her at the last place I went to to try to fix the false diagnosis. I checked myself into John Madden in Cook County after my family attacked me in 2013, got away with it, and then made me homeless. There was a Loyala Medical center next to Madden's, I went to first. In the ER there I swear I saw someone that looked just like her. She lived in Cook County as well and with her issue maybe it was for real. Sadly I screwed up again and never spoke with her. I thought it was too good to be true. Plus I was still upset from being attacked and no one doing anything about it and being made homeless with zero support. I was crying in the ER room for most of the time holding and looking at a picture of her. This person that looked like her kept sitting on a seat near my room to look at me. Her body language told me it was her. Even though she did recently answer me a question about that in an internet message. She said it wasn't her... and to get over it.

Sucks, but that is life. I was just so into her and I was a bit fucked up at the time. I even kissed too fast it's been so long for me. Maybe I should of practiced with my hand like back in my school years. She made me feel good, without all that sex shit. She was a butt girl and I'm a butt kind of guy. We loved the same music and... she made me want to be better than I was back then. A drive. A drive I had for a bit then poof, gone.

I never met anyone more beautiful than her. My Andrea. A flicker of light in my dimmed life. I still dream about her. She of course was my dream girl and I don't think I'll ever be attracted to someone so much like her ever again. It was such an extreme and rare attraction. For me at least.


I miss Andrea. I miss you so much.  A lady I would love to make a sandwich for everyday of my life.  She's more than welcome to come back into my life whenever.  


She looks like she is hugging in this photo I have.  :3


  
Please be kind and let me know if I made a typo or a mistake somewhere.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Homeless I Helped

I guess it's about time for me to talk of the homeless people I helped out since I moved here.  I would like to say that I stopped since getting a warning from my landlord.

Well when I first moved here I head to the store to pick up a few things.  I first helped this chick Misty Mae Perry...


That night I offer her help with shelter, she begs me to help other.

The second person I helped that night was someone called Zim.  He only spent one night here and I've seen him around from time to time.  I think in August of 2014 he finally got a roof over his head.

So I'm still helping Misty and I sort of digged her.  The most extreme offers I made was that of cuddles/cuddling.  LOL, she said she'll find someone to cuddle with me.  I'll get back to that later.

She ended up bringing over this other guy named Kevin Robert Phelps...


Of course she ends up cuddling with him...  which sort of bothered me since it's been hundreds of days for me and go figure, "karma".  At the time I had extra cash on me and I would at times take people out to eat which is a luxury I am rarely awarded and I would share my smokes with them and also give money to run to the thrift store.  Kevin ended up "losing" $80 I gave him, since I didn't have a red card when I first got here I got ass-raped by people totally ripping me off.  He even stole weed from me as I noticed him by my desk a few times where I usually keep it.

Later Misty brings over this chick Danielle H...


So since she said she'll bring someone over to cuddle with I got excited.  However Dani had an odd story about how she was recently kidnapped by her ex I think and raped.  So pushing cuddles on her might of been too much so I didn't.  

I was helping those three people at one time for weeks/months.  Kevin disappeared, likely got arrested for trying to steal shit.  He would talk about shit like that all the time.  Misty I learned was a meth-head and a major tweak, she ended up bailing on me to stay at a nicer place.  So it was just Dani and I.  One night they did head out somewhere, Misty and Dani and when they didn't return the following day I was extremely worried, the story of her being kidnapped.  I was a bit pissed off since I had to deal with the pigs or try to deal with them.  Never telling me I need their birthdays to file a missing person.  They left on a Saturday and they didn't get in touch with me until Monday but I was texting shit like I'm gonna file a missing person...

I made a mistake and I was super pissed off of how they didn't have the kindness to give me the peace of mind and inform me.  Still mostly my fault I ended up kicking Dani out saying how I couldn't deal with the drama.

The fifth person I helped out was Marcus Bryant.  I had a craigslist ad offering help to others in need.  I would of course charge $50 a week whenever you can pay for it and replace what you use, plus other shit like how this is not a party place.  After a week of helping him and this is in the dead of winter he says he has a friend that needs help.  She I pick up this other chick, Sandy Bailey at a 7-11...



Marcus had a job and he needed to wait until he got paid before he can pay me.  So the coming second or third week, that Friday was payday for him, and so he disappears on Thursday.  Another person with a meth issue as I later saw him and he said he had a friend in need that was hooked on meth and she needed help.  I thought to myself BS!  He was gone and made no contact for like over a month!

Sandy had a meth issue as well.  She text me "I'm gonna get you spun" and my first thoughts was like, omg is she bringing someone over to cuddle with?!  But then I used the internet to learn what spun means and of course it a term used by meth-heads.  Ugggg.  She even broke my laptop I let homeless people use to look for work or be entertained.  She would drink often and throw up every night she was here.  At the end when I said she couldn't stay here anymore she threatened to go to my landlord about me helping others and blamed her falling on my laptop breaking the screen on me!  Fucking cunt!

I also ended up helping this person Joey for a short week during my time helping Marcus and mostly Sandy.  I carried her for almost two months and she didn't pay me shit... in da winter.  Joey was pretty much the only person that gave me %100 of what I asked for.

Now, I also offered a place to shower or cook something.  I've had a few people other for that, Dan, Liz, and three others, I can't remember their names.

I helped out this nice couple for a few days, Joe and Trisha, I might be mistaken on the ladies name.  They got me some food for helping them which was nice of them.  Also there was this guy names Dominic that stayed one day here and paid me $80 for it.  O.o  

Then there was this older guy name Gary Griego.  He was here for 6 weeks, but he only paid me $150.  I learned he had a cocaine problem and I was going to kick him out when he paid me for the week but he left the day before he usually pays me.  

I had a bed beg issue at that time and maybe he was the cause of it all.  Thankfully I was paranoid enough to keep them contained to just my apartment but after a few days of mass-vacuuming I would notice them making a new nest.  Grrrr, so I had the place bombed and haven't seen one since.  

I did help out a few other people after the bed bugs but I had new rules.  Like putting your shit in bags and out on the balcony.

I had sent out a few messages to a few people looking for help.  Normally people don't reply so I sent out a few, but they all replied.  Two couples at once, oh my.  One couple I said can really only stay a short while, like days.  That was Jeremy and Christa as they showed up after John and Ashley showed up.  John and Ashley had a kid on the way.

Now about Jeremy and Christa, they tried to shoplift at a store across the street of where I live, and I even mentioned something about not going there to cause trouble as I was trying to get a job there.  They did it the last day there were allowed to stay here.

Johnathon Michael Field and Ashley Nokole Michl were made homeless because they got caught having sex and so like good Christian family they kick them out of their lives, because family values or whatever.  Of course they got more action in my place, everyone has.  They bailed on me on the second week and I pretty much left them alone to fuck like monkeys all the time in a massive walk-in closet.  So I don't know what the problem was.  I said I was relying on them to help me pay an electric disconnect bill of $50 and at that time I charge people $60 a week.  So they bailed but I usually always have a plan and figure that bill stuff out.

Misty did show up and I forget if it was before or after the two couples.  She said she got off meth and was trying to better herself.  She also was feeling me up that day she came back.  But then we couldn't fuck because she didn't have cocaine...  she stay a couple days and even tried to cuddle with me but would tweak out and scream "DON'T TOUCH ME!" when I wasn't feeling her up, it was like my head on the side of her head and then she would a second or two after yelling at me would say "Sorry, sorry!"  Just grrrrr, and yeah two days of what felt like black-balls.  Then she disappeared and I haven't seen her since and I can careless at this point.

I stopped helping people in July and since I have felt a bit better.  Having odd people around all the time sort of makes me feel uncomfy.  Which is another reason why I would charge people to stay here.  At least give me money to buy smokes to deal with your presence...

I think that is about a dozen, a little more or a little less.  I haven't counted them all up.  

So yeah, I think I'll have to help people like that in other ways.  

We all make mistakes and sometimes I need to make the same mistake a few times just to be sure.  :p

-Presifundent



This is my neighbor that was bitching about me constantly while also pretending to be my "friend"...  beware of Charles...  I saw him running from my car the night my windshield got bashed in and my tire fucked up.  He would talk shit about other neighbors of mine, so likely he talks shit about me.  The group of neighbors he gossips to act all weird around me.  Can't hide body language that easily...



Update:  I did also help this extremely annoying homeless person when I was helping Gary out.  Maryann Louis.  I only offered her a place to shower but she did stay a couple nights.  Almost everything she did bothered me, from not covering her coughs which a week later got me super sick, to of course smoking all my smokables.  Even when I was like this is your last cigarette she would pester me for more.  Even her sipping coffee was bothering to me.  Super loud and long sips... omg.  

Also when I stopped helping the homeless with shelter I also stopped helping others like Charles.  Charles got real mad too saying "I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" then being the tricky bitch he is he did get me to help him a few more times.  People like this are no good.  He does seem to have people on his side where I live but what they seem to fail to realize that he'll turn on them in a heartbeat.  So again, people like Charles are no good.  I can't believe the fuck-tard still lives here.  Almost everyone I talk with here has a bad story about him and they wonder the same thing.  Everyone but the crowd he hangs out with.  

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Presifundent Zelda Card


For my birthday I put a few glow sticks on the ground at my place.  Had to make a sign to warn not to eat and no one under 3...








Monday, September 15, 2014

On Running For Office

I would need to say a few things about thing whole running for office in the 20's.  I'm sort of recovery from drama and trauma that I've been bitching about lately.  Sorry folks, it's sort of hard for me to snap out of all of it.  Especially when I go at it alone all the time.  So let me rant a bit on running for office.

Firstly, all I need to be is 35 years-old and a natural born Citizen of the US.  Trust me I aced the Constitution test in high school.  I might not be able to repeat that now, but give me a week or two with one helpful supportive person and I bet I would be able to do it again.  Wow!  That gives me an idea...   You know, I could challenge other politicians with a live streamed to the world test.  Wouldn't you like that America?  I like that shit, I'm gonna have to write that one down...

Second, what of strategy?  Well I think being myself is a plus.  I'm a super empathetic person, naturally.  I use to help out the less fortunate when I was younger and still do.

I'll also love and am doing things completely different.  My coupons for example in the previous post.  Do something nice for da ladies even if they aren't mine.  They can still give the coupons to their lover.  The other side sounds like a crazy thing I'm trying to get ya to do but it really does work if you check it out.  I say shit like that because it sounds crazy, but isn't.  Which got me in trouble with a shitty ass mental health eval...  I'll get into that shit later.

Oh, plus getting the ladies on my side first is part of my strategy.  My mental experiments tell me that strategy and others are winners.  Crazy or ambitious... maybe too early to tell still.  I don't know.  I don't think I'm crazy and I'm super good at self assessment.  I would personally think it's ambitious and I've had nothing but punishment for wanting to do such a thing...

People might say after what all has happened to me in 2012-2013, why even bother?

Well, to that person I would say...   I'm not going to stop my dreams and not be myself over some bullshit.  Or let me put it another way, what if you get arrested for shit you never did and had your life all messed up for two years (for stuff you never did), would you just give up on your dreams and not be yourself?  I'm gonna guess no.

So yeah, what happened in 2012-2013...  I jabbed at my shoulder, my grandma had a delusion I shook my fist at her, I was arrested and jailed for three weeks at first.  Forced mental health treatments for shit I never had which made me want to die everyday for that year I was force by a shitty court to take it.  Plus I was punished for not taking them when I was and I even saved my grandma's life just about a week before they sent me back to jail a second time for the same crime I never did.  Then I was attacked by my fucked up family in March of 2013 and I even recorded it since so much fucked up shit happens to me and no one ever believes me... pigs did shit for me but they'll fuck me over a hear-say.  Then two days after attacking me my family that attacked me, my mom and her boy friend issued an OOP against me and threw my grandma's name on it making me homeless again.  Not even my brother or sister has said what happened to me was wrong.  Even my father's sister side said I deserved it all.  I took care of my grandma.  Drove her to places, got her shit, did my best to not manipulate her and did my best to get her to think for herself as I realized she has brain issues.  Even bought her a Wii to help her brain out...   my family never took care of her or even my cat after fucking me in 12-13.  My cat that is the only thing I didn't lose was riddled with knots.  WTF, can't even pet him.  To top that all off after I was attacked and pigs did nothing about it but they helped advise my mom on getting the unjust order of protection that made me homeless, they sent me back to jail for a third time for a couple weeks.  Ya know, because I don't watch softcore porn America, but I don't mind if you do!

Look this shit is like trying to sum up the original star wars trilogy, with the prequel ones, and also the upcoming trilogy.  A lot of shit happened and I'll hopefully get to all of it on my blog one day.

I would like to say one last thing about the good things I randomly do for others.  Look, you can still hate me but take the gifts and enjoy and hey, you don't need to like me personally to vote for me one day.  Thank you for reading Citizens.

-Presifundent  

Wednesday, September 10, 2014